Part of me is very confused over my sadness with my job loss. I've been unsatisfied with my job in many ways over the past couple of years. There have been big issues (not enough work to do) & little discomforts (the early shift, the many miles driving, the cold air conditioning running all.year.round, sharing a bathroom with six men), so one would think that I would more readily embrace this change. And it wasn't a surprise. There had been concerns that led to suspicions which led to rumors which finally lead to the actual announcement - the doors are closing. In two days. Wow. And the unexpected sadness of losing my job has settled into my soul, right next to the lingering sadness from saying goodbye to Mom. As I've been stripped of them both, I realize how much security & sense of who I was & what I was worth as a person came from that relationship with Mom & my job here at Cardinal Health. I know that is not how the Lord wants me to define myself & it's not how He wants me to claim my security. He should hold that place in my heart & life. And only as He strips them away from me do I realize how He has been displaced. Many lessons to be pondering as I pack it up & prepare to hang up my lab coat for the last time...in two more days.
And now my space feels so bare. It's like this desk could belong to anybody - not just me. *sigh*
In between the packing of my personal things & the packing of the impersonal things of the lab - syringes, paperwork, tools, & other odds & ends not necessary for our final two days...in between all of this busy activity I have let my mind drift over promises I know that I need to cling to now. Otherwise, next week when there is no job to go to I will just stay in bed & mourn. Mourn this year full of challenges & difficulties. Mourn my losses & pain. I don't want to do that. I want to learn to rejoice in my times of suffering. I want to learn to offer the sacrifice of my praise. I want to learn to lean hard into the One who cannot be moved.
If I don't learn these things, then what has all of this been endured for?
The Lord gave,
and the Lord has
taken away;
blessed
be the name of the Lord.
Job 1:21b
Make
me to know your ways, O Lord;
teach me your
paths.
Lead me in your truth
and teach me,
for you are the God
of my salvation;
for you I wait all
the day long.
Psalm 25:4-5
Indeed,
I count everything as loss because of the
surpassing worth of knowing
Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have
suffered the loss of all things
and count them as rubbish, in order that I may
gain Christ
and be found in him, not having a
righteousness of my own
that comes from the law, but that
which comes through faith in Christ,
the righteousness from God that depends on
faith—
that
I may know him and the
power of his resurrection,
and may
share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death.
Philippians 3:8-10
The
steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his
mercies never come to an end;
they are new every
morning;
great
is your faithfulness.
“The
Lord is my
portion,” says my soul,
“therefore
I will hope in him.”
The Lord is good to those who wait
for him,
to the soul who
seeks him.
It
is good that one should wait quietly
for the salvation
of the Lord.
Lamentations 3:22-26
Be
merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me,
for in you my soul takes
refuge;
in the
shadow of your wings I will take refuge,
till
the storms of destruction pass by.
I cry out to God Most
High,
to God who fulfills
his purpose for me.
Psalm 57:1-2
For
here
we have no lasting city, but we seek the city that is to come.
Through
him then let us continually offer up a
sacrifice of praise to God,
that is, the
fruit of lips that acknowledge his name.
Do not neglect to do good
and to
share what you have,
for such sacrifices
are pleasing to God.
Hebrews 13:14-16
For the mountains may depart
and the hills be
removed,
but my steadfast love
shall not depart from you,
and my
covenant of peace shall not be removed,
says the Lord, who has compassion on you.
Isaiah 54:10
3 comments:
I'll be praying for you as you adjust to the changes, and face the adventure God has marked out for you. BTW I love how you integrated the pictures into your post and brought your focus back to the Lord of the Universe, and His perfect gracious plan for your life.
I love the verses you posted along with the beautiful photos. I'm going to write down some of those to add to my box of verses.
Times of change and difficulty are hard to endure, but I'm so glad our loving God allows them, because through each of them He draws us closer to Himself and molds us to be more like Him.
Praying for you now and in the days to come!
Love you!
Well said..well thought through...great perspective ...wonderful honesty ...an awesome. God we serve! You CAN rely on His faithfulness! Praying for you kiddo!
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