Friday, June 22, 2012


Since I have been on the evil side of a funk lately (& let me tell you, there is no fun in funk) I think it's time for a little attitude adjustment.  Nobody likes a grouch or a complainer or a crankypants.  Oh, & I'm certain that it's not God's will for me to be this way.  
It's time for a bit of a focus shift.  I'm purposely taking my eyes off of my To Do List so that I can write this post.  I am more than a little overwhelmed with things that need to be done & that is a huge part of my crankypants issues.  I also still miss my mom much more than a little.  I know this will never go away but I do look forward to the sharp edge dulling down just a bit.  And so to put away some of my grouchy issues I'm proposing a refocus - time to think about my blessings because they are many.  I hope you'll join me!

::This pic is overflowing with things I'm thankful for.  It's from last night when I got to meet Beth for a run.  We took a lot of time to just work out & be together.  It was so good to just talk & laugh & relax.  We got rained on while we were running.  It wasn't a lot of rain, but I'm grateful for every drop.  As we were leaving to head home we saw this rainbow.  A gorgeous reminder of God's faithful promise to never flood the earth. When I see a rainbow I think of that promise but I also think of the many other promises He makes & faithfully keeps.  Wow.  The clematis is a pic Beth sent to me from her garden.  Talk about beautiful.  That intense color would have made Mom squeal.

::Psalm 43:5
Why are you cast down, O my soul, & why are you in turmoil within me?  Hope in God; for I shall again praise Him, my salvation & my God.
I read this verse in my quiet time this morning.  And it really fits where I am right now.  I struggle with feeling so low & so agitated.  I do feel hopeless about several things in my life.  But this verse helps me remember that the valleys don't last forever.  God is still with me & I will hope again & I will praise Him - I can praise Him for my salvation no matter what.  My life won't always be what it is now.  There is hope, even when my emotions lie to me & tell me that hope is gone.  I must listen to truth, not emotion.

::As I continue reading in "Heaven" by Randy Alcorn I am so encouraged about eternity.  It's incredibly comforting to learn about what the New Earth will be like.  I never really anticipated Heaven before because I erroneously thought it would be completely foreign with nothing I would recognize.  As I've done more study I have learned that isn't the case.  The book has been a blessing.

::I'm grateful for church & times I can worship, even with tears streaming down my cheeks.  This past Sunday I was not having a good day.  A friend who spends most of her year in Florida came home & she was upset about Mom, missing her & another church family member who died recently.  That was all it took to make me come undone.  There were tears & sniffling & digging for tissues, but there was still blessing in worship.  I'm even grateful for hymns about Heaven & other hymns like, "God Will Take Care of You."  I break down just about every time we sing but the words go straight to my soul & remind me of my incredible Lord & all He has done for us - in this life & the next.  How can that not affect me?  It didn't use to; it does now, in a mighty way.  And I'm grateful.

::I'm grateful for rest, & Fridays, & a weekend ahead.  Yes, I'm going to run myself ragged with chores & activities & getting ready for the new week, but at least I won't punch a time clock for two days.  Hopefully I get the house cleaned, the laundry caught up, & other junk like that.  I'll also go on a canoeing trip with the youth group from church.  I already know that canoeing will be super fun - even if there isn't much water due to our lack of rain.  Just being outside is happiness to me.  So I'll make my to do lists & try to plan the weekend & strive for some sort of balance.  It probably won't work but I'll give it a shot & try to enjoy myself along the way!

::I'm grateful for some new running shoes.  My feet have been hurting like who had it!  The other running shoes I was wearing just weren't making the cut.  I haven't had them for very long (maybe six months) so I just hated to spring for another pair ($96!) but it had to be done if I was going to keep running or if I was not going to destroy my feet.  I picked out a new pair of Mizunos yesterday & on last night's test run they performed fabulously.  My feet are happy, I'm happy.

::I'm thankful for Mike.  He puts up with my moodiness like no other person who has ever known me (& he bears the brunt of it, poor guy).  I know God made him just for me because any other man would have left running & screaming by now.  Marriage isn't easy; it's hard work.  And I'm grateful I'm with someone who is so worth the effort.

Kind of a rambling, wordy mess but it was just what I needed to think through today.  What blessings are you focusing on today?  It might mean I'm just a little bit nosey, but I'd love to hear all about it!


Heidi said...

Good job for changing your focus!

I, too, struggled this week. I went to the doctor on Monday really hoping my white counts would be normal....but they weren't. I had been praying ardently that it would be God's will that I wouldn't have to have shots again...ever again. Unfortunately, that wasn't His plan. I left the doctor's office, got in my van and cried. I was so discouraged. I had been handling the shots okay, but now it seems that the time rolls around too quickly and the pain more intense. I had to stop and remind myself that God is still good, and He is the one who can help me THROUGH the struggle. I also remind myself often that there are so many others who are going through far worse circumstances, and that I should be thankful that my pain only lasts a few days at a time. I am very thankful for a powerful and yet caring God who knows my struggles and helps me deal with it all.

Praying for you as you continue to focus on God rather than the difficulties.

1 Thess. 5:18 "..give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."

Psalm 68:19 "Blessed be the Lord, who daily loadeth us with benefits, even the God of our salvation."

Mary Ann said...

Heidi, I'm so sorry that you have to continue with those shots. I know they tax you while they're supposed to be helping - grrr. I guess these lessons only make sense to us and change us with the pain they bring. I'm grateful to know that God doesn't allow any of the pain without a purpose. I'm prsying for you!

Nikki said...

I know you do not know me. I pop over from Across my Kitchen Table every now and then. I was reminded by this post how right after my youngest brother passed away a few years ago the lump would form in my throat as soon as we started to sing certain hymns. I look back now and realize that God was there all along I never doubted it but somedays were harder then others. I pray that time will help heal your loss as well. What a blessing that you have an understanding husband to walk with you through the hard times as well as the good. :)