I've decided that I don't like getting old
(right now you're thinking, 'what does that have to do with Christmas? she should be writing a post about Christmas...after all it IS Christmas Eve Eve & she has a pic of their Christmas tree at the beginning of the post...' Hang on, I'll get there).
Several things with me have changed over the last couple of years & I'm sure that's it is completely related to the aging process. Which is inevitable, stinky, & way too quick to happen.
First of all, I have so much to do & I never seem to get it all done. Back when my world was school, family activities & a few church activities I had all the extra time in the world. I could read, play, watch an entire movie in one sitting without falling asleep...I had no idea how good I had it.
Secondly, I just plain old felt better. I think it might have to do with the amount of sleep I used to get as a kid. As a grown up with that never ending to do list I get less & less sleep. And that makes me feel tired, old, & occasionally cranky. I know, that cranky part is hard to believe!
Thirdly, I feel too much. As in, I cry at the drop of a hat. It's actually kind of pathetic. I'm not sure what has happened to my emotions but they have definitely gone into hyper sensitive mode. And no, this is not a pregnancy announcement. Here's an example of what I'm talking about: I was thoroughly excited about our church's children's Christmas program. I just love to see them singing their songs & doing their thing. Then I sat in the pew & fought tears the entire time. *sigh* It just does something to my heart to see those kids singing & talking about Jesus's birth.
And then there's the Christmas music. "O Holy Night" is my all time absolute favorite. The second verse says:
The king of kings lay thus in lowly manger
In all our trials born to be our friend.
He knows our needs
To our weakness He's no stranger...
It gets me every time. If I even try to sing along my voice goes all warble-y. The almighty Creator born of a woman in order to be my friend...to become akin to my frail weakness...to understand my needs - especially my need of a Savior. I am overwhelmed. I am humbled. And I am filled with such gratitude. Where would I be without my Jesus?
And let's not forget to mention the Christmas gatherings with the family. Mike & I will be running all over town to visit family here & there. My crazy, fabulous family. Mike's incredibly loving family. Can a heart burst? Seriously, I think I might be going nuts. I just want to wrap them all up in a big hug & keep them with me all.the.time. When I contemplate families separated by geographical distance or broken relationships, guess what? I get teary. I could literally bawl at the thought. And those commercials of soldiers sending greetings home? I'm a goner...get me a tissue...or a whole box.
So, I'm fixing to blubber my way through Christmas. I'm going to be carrying around a heart full of raw emotion - love, gratitude, joy...it's going to be great!
I wish God's best blessing on your Christmas! And as always, thank you so much for meeting with me here in this little blog spot. It means a lot to me...*sniff, sob*