Wednesday, December 9, 2009


Things around here lately have NOT been dull. I actually have thought about posting numerous times, but have not really been in the mood. But that doesn't mean that we're not busy & things aren't crazy!
The truth is, I'm kind of struggling. The weather is super cold & we've had snow. I should be rejoicing about it b/c it seems so Christmas-y, but I get preoccupied with being mad about being cold. Yuck.
Also, I haven't been feeling very well. If you've been on facebook you may have noticed that I updated my status the other day with a comment about an ultrasound of my gall bladder. I have been having episodes of chest pain & nausea. I've never had chest pain before & let me tell you, any chest pain seems like a life or death issue! I spent most of last Monday & Tuesday thinking, "hmmm...maybe I should tell somebody that I feel like there is an elephant on my chest?" I ended up seeing the doctor on Thursday & she feels like it is most probably my gall bladder acting up. She ordered an ultrasound to check for gall stones. If they were apparent on the ultrasound then I would go directly to a surgeon to discuss removal of the gall bladder. If not, then I would need to follow up with a nuclear scan to determine if the gall bladder is functioning properly. I had the ultrasound on Monday & the results were normal. Immediately I started wondering if I was a head case. No offense to any hypochondriacs out there, but I do NOT want to join your club. People think I'm crazy enough already! I had really been praying that if my gall bladder was what was making me sick that all I would need would be the ultrasound. Obviously I'm now going to have to follow up with the nuclear test. It's called a Hida scan & the drug that they will use for my test will actually come from the pharmacy that I work in. I'm might ask my boss if I can draw up my own dose! I was just really hoping to avoid another test b/c that just means another test to pay for. And the other nagging thought is what if this test comes back normal too? Then I will have joined the above mentioned club, I suppose.
So with all of these not so fun thoughts running round in my head & not feeling very well, & strife at my workplace, & Mike being sick, too (a very, very, very bad headcold) I've struggled to keep my focus on what is true & right.

I need to think about things like:
~ it's Christmas-time! The songs of the season & focusing on Christ's birth really makes my heart rejoice. The words of "O Holy Night" have always especially touched my heart. What's your favorite Christmas carol?
~ completed projects & some much needed organization around our home! The Christmas tree & decorations are up & sparkly. Our basement (which has been a storage/woodworking wasteland) is finally starting to take some organizational shape.
~ the faithfulness of God's Word! I've been reading in the books of Kings recently & the Lord has taught me (reminded me of) some basic truths:

1. Love Him first & foremost
2. Obey Him wholeheartedly
3. Hate sin

~ Mike & I both still have jobs! Actually, my job has not been in jeopardy (that I know of!) but Mike has been faced with possible layoff & constant rumors of shutdown for longer than I can remember. The Lord has been faithful to supply his plant with orders so that the skeleton crew that remains has work. We are praying about January b/c it's the next possible layoff/shutdown time, but we are confident that the Lord is in control & He will do what is best for us.

There's a whole lot more to say about how the Lord has blessed & sustained me even while I've tended to be meloncholy, attitudinal & ungrateful. I'm so thankful He is faithful, even when I'm not.

What has the Lord been teaching you lately?


Erin said...

I hope you feel better. I understand all your feelings with something being wrong and no one listening or understanding or doing anything about it. I'm glad you have a doctor that is doing tests. And if they come back normal, keep pressing on and trying to get answers. Don't let them say there is nothing wrong when in fact you feel there is. You have to be your own advocate. I finally have a name for mine and it took two years to get that name. And now that I have a name for it, they aren't going to do any treatment because I'm not sick enough. Even though it's frustrating I wouldn't trade the growth that has come as a result of this. Just know I'm praying for you and love you.

Alicia said...

Hey, dear,

Sorry to hear about your mystery illness of late! Hope you get some answers soon.

I have so many Christmas song faves. Hard to choose just one . . .lately we've been rocking out to Harry Connicks Jr's cd. His version of o holy night is gorgeous -- and what fabulous words!

Been reading through Ecclesiastes lately and learning about moderation and balance and joy. There's so much the devil tempts me to stress about that is NOT important in light of eternity!

Theo-Ann said...

Thanks for sharing this, Mary Ann. I just posted a list of more blessings...but at times, I've been discouraged too. I guess the biggest lesson I am learning right now is to wait on God's timing. His way is best. Hang in there! Hope you feel better real soon.

Rebecca said...

Sorry to hear that you don't feel well! I can sing a few verses to the "Dr. says there is nothing wrong" song. That is SO discouraging! {{HUGS}} The best thing I do is find something to force me not to think about it. Sorry that Mike doesn't feel well either. It is hard when he is looking for comfort & sympathy at the same time you are! I will pray that God will send you some "sunshine".