Thursday, October 13, 2011
Am I Getting Old?
But today I'm wondering if I'm getting old. To me, getting old is more of a shift in mindset. It's not just that sinking feeling you get when you realize that five or less hours of sleep a night just isn't going to cut it anymore. Hmmm...
It's waking up on a day like today - chilly & rainy - & realizing that I'm moving kind of stiff-like. I would prefer to blame it on the intense workout dvd I did yesterday but I'm just not so sure.
And it's having weird thoughts cross your mind. Thoughts like, "I'm turning 35 next year. Maybe I should jot down some sort of Bucket List." No, I've never seen the movie. It's always seemed kind of depressing to me & seriously, why would I want more depressing in my life? Give me a comedy people, just a comedy.
And then there was the real kicker. The other day Mike & I had a conversation that went a little bit like this:
Me: Well, maybe someday we can do such-and-so. Maybe we'll have more free time & more disposable income & we can pull it off.
Mike: Yeah, we can always try to plan for it. It's not the end of the world if it doesn't happen.
Me: And until then, talking about it is really almost as good as being able to do it.
At this moment I can't even remember exactly what we were talking about. I think it had something to do with quitting our jobs & going after some kind of self-employment dream. The part that really makes me feel like an old fogey is the "talking about it is really almost as good as being able to do it." I actually said those words.
Like talking about skydiving could compare with an actual leap from a plane at however many thousands of feet?
Like talking about writing a book could compare with sitting in front of the computer for hours & hours pouring my heart & soul into a story that maybe no one or maybe thousands will read?
Like talking about running a marathon could compare with the hours of training, sweating, crying (there would certainly be tears at some point), & the exhilaration of crossing the finish line?
Yeah, I do not think that merely discussing something is really almost as good as being able to do it. It must have been just a moment of tiredness that allowed the old fogeyness to seep into my still vibrant youth. Yeah, that's it. I'm sure that's it. Don't you think so?