At least I'm pretty sure she says a line something like that in the movie. Lately I've really wanted to sit down & watch all of the Anne of Green Gables movies. Since I don't have the dvds and in no way do I have the time, I haven't watched them. But I can quote from them! Or pseudo quote since I'm not entirely sure she actually says that line. Somehow, I have a notion that she does...
Anyway, all of that just to say this:
I've been in a bit of a funk lately. We have had some challenges - a major sewer repair (more on that to come), lots of medical bills from Michael's accident (which means lots of phone calls, deciphering of insurance lingo & other cringe-inducing tasks), & lots of overtime for Michael which is a blessing that comes with a bit of a curse (not much time together & trying to overcome the grumpies from being overworked).
So, in an effort to address my not-in-a-good-way funkiness, I am attempting to retrain my attitude that each day is brand new. The Lord's mercies are renewed, His faithfulness is the same, His strength is available every moment, & His joy is my strength. Each morning when our alarm buzzes at 4:50 I have a fresh start awaiting me. It is my choice to let the Holy Spirit reign & help me make the most of the new day. Instead of viewing each day as a muddy furrow to slough through to make it to the weekend, I need to joyfully anticipate what all the Lord will bring my way - a sunny day, a challenging task at work, the opportunity to try a new applesauce recipe, & even regular tasks like folding laundry or washing dishes that are mundane but make our house a peaceful, tidy home.
Lately I have really struggled with stuff. You know, daily stuff. Things that are worthwhile & even necessary but things that never get done. EVERY DAY I have to make the bed, go to work, tidy the house, prepare meals, clean & tidy myself, and so on. There will always be teeth that need brushing, clothes that need washing, attitudes that need repairing, relationships that need tending, grass that needs mowing...you get the idea? Sometimes I just get under all of that. And I see others get under, too; seeing them discouraged/tired/funky like me, I get even more discouraged. I get bone weary of the day to day to day to day.
And I just want to drop out. The thought, "I don't want to..." runs through my mind many times every day. Or the other favorite, "I'm too tired to..." Then I start up with the old stand by, "If I could just get away for a few days, go lay on a beach somewhere & really rest up..."
Because I used to hop on a plane or get in the car for a major road trip when this funk hit.
These days that isn't really an option. Maybe now I should look for the real solution? Maybe the Lord is trying to teach me to look to Him for the strength needed to stick by the stuff. Maybe I should be praying for some discipline, diligence, & dedication needed to live this life in a way that reflects His character.
Then when I observe others who are quick to un-volunteer themselves for service I won't be so quick to get discouraged. When the daily gets a little too DAILY, I will be able to hit the floor running early every morning knowing that I'm not living this life all by myself. I have a whole lot more to go on than my own strength or even the strength I can borrow from Mike. The Lord Himself watches over me; He knows my abilities & frailties. He knows just where I am & just how much I can endure. Maybe I can even reach the point where I rely on Him enough that I can even help encourage someone else. After all, isn't that a huge part of the Christian life? Encouraging, exhorting, & loving one another?
I'm excited to learn. I'm excited to change. I'm excited to grow. I'm excited to see what God can do because He is a very great God. And He can do great things.
Know that the LORD, he is God!
Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise!
For the LORD is good;